Life. It rolls along allowing you to think that you have it all figured out.  

Then…

CURVE BALL. 

We have all had them.  Some we see coming straight for us. Many…dare I say, most… we don’t.  But anticipation doesn’t soften the blow.  It doesn’t lessen the wound.  And how do you TRULY anticipate a curve ball being thrown at you anyway?  Isn’t surprise the entire point of the ball curving when it looks like it’s going to be smooth sailing…right down the middle.  Home run.  Game. Over.

But…

Life happens.  That part of life that is real and ugly and devastating and beautiful and powerful, somehow all at the same time.  That part of life that leaves you wondering how in the world you will ever go on, and equally how you’ve been able to survive so long without being beamed with an inside pitch before this moment.  Life was so “easy.”  Life as you knew it anyway.  But this pain, while unexpected, surely wont last forever.  Will it?  Surely there will be a day when things are “normal” again, and you regain your ability to breathe naturally. Surely.

However…

Life isn’t easy.  Life isn’t fair. And life CERTAINLY does NOT care if you like the “pitches” it throws at you. Life will beat you down. Take away your dignity. Destroy your hope. Extinguish your joy. Trample your spirit.  Dilute your love. Pillage your happiness. Life can quickly abduct everything about you that makes you…well…YOU. Life will permeate your heart and mind, and fill them with thoughts and feelings you wish weren’t even possible…much less yours.  Life will beat you down…if YOU let it.

So…

Don’t let it.  Sure, we all feel sorry for ourselves from time to time, and sometimes it certainly feels justified. But, and this isn’t something any of us likes to hear, it is eternally true that someone else always has it worse than we do.  Even when we don’t want to admit it.  Even when it feels like our world is caving in.  Even when we WANT to be miserable, because it’s so much less painful than accepting the truth.  We are not the most desperate person in the world.  We don’t own the patent on misery.  When don’t hold the record for worst heartache in history. None of us. Not me.  Not you.

Remember…

There are children (and adults) literally starving to death in this world.  I know that is an example used so often of how things “could be worse.”  An example we often choose to overlook, or easily do not relate to, so we ignore…in spite of our loving hearts and best intentions…willfully.  The unimaginable tragedies the furor of this world has rained down on so many. So many of God’s people. So many of the lost.  So many hearts and lives changed and destroyed by pain and suffering. We easily forget to grieve for them, or possibly, in our haste and distraction, choose not to think about them a regular basis…there are so many. I don’t  need to name the litany of problems this world has.  The overwhelming grievances that so many could share. We are all flawed and experience pain.  Some more than others.  But this life is hard. And beautiful. And blessed.

How…

JESUS. Jesus. Our Lord and Savior. Jesus.  Jesus came. He lived. He died. He rose. But He suffered.  He suffered for US. For you. For me. For those who have been, and those yet to be.  He paid the price for us. He died so that we can live.  Did you hear me?!?

HE DIED SO THAT WE CAN LIVE!  

1 Corinthians 15:55-57                                                                                                            ⁵⁵ “Where, O death, is your victory?    Where, O death, is your sting?”    ⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷ But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

To My Sweet, Dedicated, Loyal Friends and Prayer Warriors…

I have been wanting to write for awhile.  I thought I wanted to write about what it must be like (I have an idea, but can only speak from the outside looking in) to be the big brother, or any sibling of a child with special needs.  A child who needs extra attention.  Extra patience.  Extra time. Extra room to make mistakes.  Leeway you weren’t given. Extra chances you weren’t allowed. Understanding you weren’t afforded. Attention you didn’t receive. Especially if you are a big brother who was showered with more love than one would ever imagine. A child who never had to want for kisses or hugs, or a moment of his mother’s time. A boy who was solely adored and cared for without having to spare a drop for his little brother. Much less a bucket full.  Yes, yes.  I know. I hear you rolling your eyes already;) That’s what EVERY older sibling goes through.  Agreed.  They have to learn to share the wealth.  The love. The toys. The parents. The attention.  I hear ya!

But it’s been a little different for Aidan.  He couldn’t wait to be a big brother.  He couldn’t wait to have a playmate.  He couldn’t wait to meet Brody.  He didn’t know any differently. He still doesn’t, frankly. But he has been put on the back burner more than once. More than twice. More times than I can count. From the day we came home we knew that Brody was going to need more attention.  We knew that he would have more difficult needs.  We left Aidan with family, 3 months into Brody’s life, to spend a few weeks in the hospital and only saw my sweet boy that I had never gone a day without seeing, twice.  He was five. To keep it short (well..short-ish), I will simply say that he is spoiled and loved, and he doesn’t want for anything…except a little more understanding sometimes. To be put first occasionally. For things to go HIS way, not what’s best for little brother.  And he misses being important. At least, feeling important. We love him more than ever, but we expect a lot from him, because Brody is so much work, and needs so much of our time. We love them both, but by default, Brody gets the most attention, because he needs it more.

So, I thought I was going to write about how it must feel to be Aidan.  I have been planning it and running it in my head for weeks.  I had the video already made.  And then I started typing.  I started typing, and I couldn’t think about anything but the joy my son has when he is playing with his little brother.  The love he shows Brody when Brody is being impatient and screams at him. The happiness he has when playing with Brody, even though he wants Brody to be a “normal” almost 4 year old and be able to play with him the way most 4 year olds do, but Brody can’t.  The kind and hopeful spirit he shows when he talks about how special his brother is, and how much he loves him.  The hope he shares that his brother will be and do anything and everything that he could ever dream.

I started typing.  I started typing, and I realized that what I really wanted to write about is what can happen when you see the world through the pure heart of an innocent child.  A heart that life hasn’t destroyed, or beaten down.  A heart that still wants to love.  A heart that still wants to hope.  A heart that is filled with joy.

Yes, the world has beaten all of us down.  We have all been hit by multiple curve balls…bruised…scarred…damaged…destroyed. But there is joy.  There is hope.  There is love. There is grace and mercy.  There is Jesus.

 

I have been wanting to make this video for weeks.  I literally ran out of music WAY before I ran out of pictures.  I have 3 times the pictures of these boys than I used here. They love each other.  They need each other.  They bring each other joy.  Thank You, God, for these boys.  Thank You for Your son, Jesus.  Thank you for His sacrifice.  Thank you for Your Holy Spirit who brings us comfort and peace.  Thank you for salvation.  Thank you for eternity.  Thank you for this life, and the promise of hope for the future that we see in the love we have for our children. Thank you, Lord.  Thank you for your Son.  And thank you for mine.

If you have made it this far in this post, please watch my video of my precious boys! Also, I admire your endurance and patience to indulge in my ramblings to this point.  If you can’t watch the whole video, at least start at 4 minutes or so, and finish from there;) 

I leave you with this…every word of Romans 8.

Romans 8

Life Through the Spirit

8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives lifehas set you^[a] free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,^[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.^[c]And so he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

⁹ You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life^[d] because of righteousness. ¹¹ And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of^[e] his Spirit who lives in you.

¹² Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.^[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,^[g] Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Present Suffering and Future Glory

¹⁸ I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that^[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

²² We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³ Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerlyfor our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for usthrough wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[i] have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.³⁰ And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

More Than Conquerors

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us,who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns?No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.