Dear friends and family,
My husband is a police officer. An honest one. A good guy. Someone who would NEVER, EVER do anything to harm someone intentionally, and frankly would give his life to save another. He goes to work with a bullet-proof vest and a gun on, not because he is a bad guy, but because he might meet one. He doesn’t know most of the people he encounters and has no idea whether they are “good” or “bad” and many times has to make very fast decisions about how dangerous a situation might be. He isn’t perfect, but he is a good person and wants to do what is right.

I hate his job. I hate that it takes him away from our children with its crazy hours and 6 months out of the year when he is on nights. I hate that it makes him cranky at me sometimes, because of the ridiculousness and craziness he had to deal with that day. I hated it when a police officer came to my house in the middle of the night and woke me up ringing the door bell over and over, and beating on the door because my husband had been injured and was at the ER. I hate it that he has had to have knee surgery twice because of being injured at work. I hate it that people call him while at work and make him go to places where other people are doing drugs and causing a scene, drinking and driving, fighting, threatening to kill people, beating each other, stealing, and so many other things that make his job a necessity. I hate so many things about his job, but I love him for doing it.

He is just a “normal” cop with no agenda on the job, and he leaves 2 amazing kids every day and goes to work to deal with other people’s woes. He leaves with a small chance, yet SO MUCH bigger than yours or mine, that he might not make it home that day, because of a “normal” day at work.

So, family and friends, I am sure that you don’t care how I feel about this, but I am going to tell you anyway that I love you. I do. When you say awful, AWFUL things about ALL police officers when you are disgusted with an EXTREMELY small fraction of officers who make bad choices, or when you are angry about being pulled over, or whatever your personal complaint with the police might be…I love you. I love you so much, but honestly, it makes me so mad at you sometimes. It makes me mad that you only care about how his job affects YOU. It makes me mad that you are more concerned about bashing cops than considering how your vile and hateful comments might affect a completely innocent officer with a family who loves him very, very much. And by affect, I don’t mean his/our feelings. I mean how you or others actually treat police officers as a result, in the current disrespectful culture we live in.

People wonder why cops are so much more likely to quickly “neutralize” a threat these days. It isn’t because they all just want to shoot people and get away with it, or because they are all “arrogant *********”. (I am so sad to constantly hear ignorance like this) I believe the reason is because the threat is more likely to do harm to the cop, and the public, than ever before. We live in a world of sparse consequences and plenty of blame for authority while few repercussions are actually levied against the real offenders. We live in a world where the media reports are 95% negative about the police and 5% positive (Those aren’t actual statistics, but you get the idea:)

The point I am trying to make is, there is a time and a place for criticism of the police. I have even done it on many occasions, and completely support it when it is deserved. But to simply hate the police and incite anger and more hatred toward them because you want what you are saying to be true in order to fit your police hating agenda somehow, or because you would rather it be true because you have never like police anyway, well, THAT makes me angry. And there are many of you on my friend list:(

So, please forgive me for thinking that you are selfish and immature when you go on rants about the police without having a clue what actually happened, or because you got a ticket and the officer was a jerk. And please forgive me when I want to kick you in the shins (I won’t, but I want to!;) for saying things about “all cops” that not only demean my husbands character as a police officer, but frankly as a person as well. And please, please forgive me when I want to scream and shout that YOU HAVE NO CLUE what the police actually do or deal with on a regular basis (Yes, even in Russellville, Arkansas, so I can’t even imagine what it must be like in a big city).

Please forgive me, because I love you so much but I get upset with you when you are so unnecessarily mean, because I am a mother who sees the father of her precious children leave for a job that I hate, and I know that he will probably be absolutely fine, but what if he isn’t? How will I tell my children? How will I raise them? Would they remember him? Would they know how much he loved them? It seems dramatic, but I bet that every police officer’s family has had those thoughts…if only just once. I am also a wife who each day sees her husband put on a vest that may (or may not) save his life one day. He is my person, and I need him. I am in love with him. I want him to always come home to me. I am human, and I get mad when you bad mouth people you have never met, because you “hate ********* cops”. I get angry when you make MY husband’s job harder by promoting anti-police rhetoric, because it makes you feel satisfied or smart to do so. I don’t like getting mad at you and I definitely need to work on that, I get it, but I also need your forgiveness for feeling this way toward you, because it is real and sometimes it is raw.

By no means am I saying that the police shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions. There are some people that shouldn’t even be cops. There are police officers all over this country that do have their own agendas and even many who break the law themselves. There are bad police officers. There are bad traffic stops, bad decisions, bad choices, bad judgement calls made every day. And when it is intentional or careless, I have a SERIOUS issue with it. But understand first, that cops are human, too…just like you. And I don’t care whether you believe it or not, MOST cops aren’t bad. If you can’t see past yourself enough to acknowledge that, then I am sorry that you are so intent on being wrong. But please, quit lumping my husband in by default, with all of your rants about how “all cops are ********” or “cops are just on an ego trip” or any number of things that you say to sound like you have it all figured out.

I love you. I love you so much. Sometimes I just wish you didn’t say things that were so hurtful to my family. That’s all. I love you and I pray that you forgive me for being mad at you when you say stupid things. Yes. Stupid. I say stupid things too, some of which were probably in this post, but thankfully, there is enough grace to go around for all of us.

Attacking and promoting hate, and sometimes even violence (I read it all of the time!) against an entire group of people (in this case police officers), because of the actions of a few, or because of the misinformation given about those actions that caused you to make a one-sided judgement, is hate. Plain and simple. So, I love you. And I am trying to constantly remember that…

LOVE will always conquer HATE. Love conquers all.